The legend of Zelda: Majora's mask

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I've hyped this up for almost a month, so it's only right I deliver. Even if nobody cares.

Yesterday, I desperately tried to find one of those golden N3DS (that's SonNeoKaku for New 3DS) with that purple heart and eyes plus some thorns on it. No avail. Fully booked since they were announced. Keep in mind, this is SWEDEN we're talking about, we're not even in 10 million citizens yet! This is the first time I've experienced this. I can understand why nobody wants a collector's edition of Xillia 2, but a rerelease of a Zelda game was unexpected. Ultimately, I tried to order one from a store that said it MIGHT get more this march. It's gonna cost me 3000 kronor. So much for that little money I managed to save up... Also, while I was at it, I preordered Splatoon and X. If either game get some bullshit special collector whatever edition, I'll cancel the order and get that instead. If I can afford it, and that'll be a really big if should I get that N3DS.

No, I don't want that N3DS that comes with that shitty skull kid figurine, because he's an asshat.

The only existing "copy" I already have of Majora's mask is the one I got for Wii's virtual console. One problem: It's been moved to my Wii U which can only play it with a classic controller, which I don't own. All because that damn adapter only works with Smash Wii U.

How did I solve this predicament? I downloaded it for Wii's virtual console again for 100 bucks. I'll have to donate some organ if I want to afford anything at this rate. My own damn fault, though.

But that was about three days ago (ironically), what about now? Well, I finished it again a few hours ago, so there's no reason not to give my thoughts on it. Majora's mask 3D is still fresh in public conscience after all. Unless you're on twitter, in which case anything older than a minute is about as fresh as a turd.

Frankly, I was surprised at how NOT dark and messed up this game is. Sure, there's a few scares, but they're very far in-between. The few surprises it did have are completely ruined to me because I've already played the game and I still remember most of the stuff. That half-Gibdo, for example. An obvious scare, honestly. This has such a rep because of the things that spawned from it (Ben drowned) and not necessarily the game itself. Most people who played it at a very young age and were freaked out by it will go "That's it?", this isn't Silent hill. Tingle is by far the creepiest thing in the game. Ew.

Before listing the likes and dislikes about the game, like I did with oot and tp, 'ow about some personal stories?

I most likely played this game in 2004 or 2005. Borrowed it from a friend and got frustrated by it. A different friend had a guide for it, despite not owning the game, but it was useless because it was in english so I was on my own. Still managed to beat it and getting Fierce diety. I really liked the music and often played on the songs on a keyboard I still own.

Then it was put on virtual console, which was probably between 2008-2010. Pretty certain I got on release day. It had earned a high status in my mind because of how different it was, much like Twilight princess. I remember a whole lot more about MM than tp which I pretty much played through and said "BEST ZLEDA EVUR1" and sealed it into my subconscious. I was very insensitive back then, not exactly someone who takes in experiences. Still, I played through MM and I was not disappointed. Only finished that version once, though.

Which brings us here. Let's list the bad stuff.

The camera sucks and the controls can be stiff. Turning around when flying as a deku only leads to disaster. While the swimming is better than in tp, you're still gonna struggle against it. You can't turn in midair when rolling as a goron.

It reuse way too many 3D models from oot. I can believe the cuccoo lady is now an inn keeper with a different name, but I can NOT accept that princess Ruto in a dress. It just feels...odd.

Tingle.

Mikau is one of the most underrated annoying characters in Zelda. That god he disappeared from the game rather early.

The three day limit can set some people off, especially how you can't save freely. I don't mind, though. This was fixed in Majora's mask 3D.

The skull kid was much worse than I remember. Don't try to pull that "He was controlled by Majora" shit on me, he was still annoying and wasn't exactly developed. They sure tried, but nope, he sucks. For that matter, how did he manipulate just about every bad thing in the game so easily? Was this done before Link set out on his quest to find Navi or did he do it within the timeframe of him fleeing from deku Link and the dawn of the first day? Actually, Tatl and Tael would have probably been with him as he did his manipulations, since he found the mask after meeting them and they seemed to follow him since, so why doesn't she seem knowing of even half the madness he caused?

I understand that the mask salesman is supposed to be mysterious and kinda supernatural, but where the hell did he get that huge piano/organ that disappear once he teach you the song of healing?

The fact that they reuse so many models gives the game more of a feel of a what-if story or it being set in an alternate universe. It also feels a bit...fanfic-y. I mean...gerudo pirates? As in the thieves from the desert? Did they come from gerudo valley or are they their own thing? If so, do they also have a male born every 100 years? Oh, and the two gerudo witches, i.e. the boss Twinrova that kidnapped Nabooru and gave birth to Ganondorf (somehow, idk) that Link killed in the future, are now running a potion shop and a boat tour. Did they just work there extra while brainwashing Nabooru?

The intro says Link sets out on his quest after returning the master sword and the purpose for his journey is to find Navi. She is never referred to and the ending shows that Link is still continuing his quest. He also seems a bit forgetful, as both song of time and song of storms must be relearned.

If you expect to see Zelda, Ganondorf, the triforce or Hyrule, prepare to be disappointed. Despite being a direct sequel to oot, it's mostly in spirit.

The skull kid is the same as the one you met in Lost woods. Yet he still doesn't recognize you too well. How did he even end up there if Termina's his home turf? Then again, it's implied he's been alive for a long time, about the same as the giants, so he got time to travel.

I despise that part where you have to chase that butler. The mask of scents sucks, for that matter.

The notebook is too vague and undetailed in a lot of things. It's hard to judge the exact times events happen. Some people that give you masks don't even appear on it at all. Fixed in 3D version.

I've never liked Ingo and splitting him into 3 sure isn't gonna help that.

Who brings a horse that's not even fully grown? How the hell did she end up in the ranch which is sealed?

The triforce isn't worshipped in Termina, yet some characters have it on ther clothes, like Cremia. If you're gonna reuse models, at least repaint them!

You have no idea how often I've pressed start. So many items and all those masks...

You lose all your supplies when you restart. I've had to use the blast mask more than necessary.

Why would you give someone the strongest mask in the world before fighting? Majora's an idiot.

Is this the actual moon or is it just a huge rock with a face on it? If the former, we're so screwed at the end, because it's destroyed!

I don't see those giants as gods. I don't even see Marvel's Thor or those powerful beings in Kid icarus uprising as anything remotely godlike, so why should I think the contrary about four bearded red balls with a nose and limbs?

The graphics are better than in oot, but it's still not a pretty game.

The mirror shield has zero reach. Its puzzles are bad. Thank god for Wind waker.

The ending is ok, but a bit underwhelming.

This game tries soooo hard to creep you out. The print on the mirror shield, the facial expressons of a lot of things (like Link's empty soldier, which I quite honestly find laughable), the canyon in general, but nothing that'll work on grown adults playing it for the first time. Ok, maybe the half Gibdo. Still, I laugh at those who are genuinely scared of this game. Play Clock tower or Fatal frame, thine mind will be blown. For the record, I laugh at the mere thought of haunted video games I MEAN LOL I COULD BARELY WRITE THAT SENTENCE WITHOUT SNICKERING GODDAMN PUSSIES

The last temple is a pain in the ass, so is Goht's trial in the moon.

I've never liked that clock at the bottom of the screen. Just don't like its design.

The writing is better than the one in oot, but it's not great. Big improvement, though.

I get it, it's the night of the second day, please don't bother me in the midst of a battle! I'm not deaf, I heard the bells! Why does the screen get smaller when I'm not in a dungeon?! When did this become Simon's quest?

Loads of nitpicks and some bigger issues, but what about the GOOD stuff?

As annoying as it is to switch the masks, I actually like their additions. It's pretty cool to be able to transform and use small benefits from other masks, most notably bunny's hood.

There's only four heart pieces, so there's a LOT of pieces of hearts. Collectors will be overjoyed.

The game feels just about the right length. Not too much in either direction.

You can refight all the bosses and minibosses as you please.

The great fairy rewards are well worth it! Except maybe for magic spin and possibly Great fairy sword since you get it rather late. Still a really good sword, though.

The 3 day scenario is pretty interesting. It's a bit dumb how he can only manipulate within these three particular days, but it's still rather well done for what it's worth.

Song of soaring is very welcomed, and it sounds super cool on its first ocarina note. Oath to order sounds great when played on the ocarina, I just really like the way it sounds.

Some might complain that Tatl is an annoying bitch, but I actually like that. She has a bit of a personality unlike Navi who's more bland that butter on bread. She's sarcastic and bitchy, yes, but I don't mind. Because she never nags, except maybe in the canyon about those ninjas.

All events can be redone but have their rewards removed. Cutscenes are also shortened. My favorite is Cremia's milk delivery event. When you clear it, you get a mask. On subsequent playthroughs, she hugs you and shoves Link's face into her boobs. That' right, adult Malon just shoved a ten year old into her tits as a sign of her considering him an adult. Believe it or not, but a woman once shoved me into her boobs, and I never thought I'd have THAT in common with Link of all people! I get underage boobs whenever I want thouOH MY GOD NO

This is gonna sound extremely weird, but I actually like Romani and Cremia. Malon was as uninteresting as they get, she was just a pretty face that went tee-hee and taught you Epona's song. These two actually have more personalities; Romani is childish and girly (referring to oneself in third person is extremely feminine in Japan, I can only assume she does the same thing in the original), Cremia is responsible, hard-working and motherly to Romani, but a bit lonely. She's also crushing on someone who's getting married to her friend. Tough. Dunno why, but Cremia's just mad attractive to me, despite being identical to Malon. Maybe it's because how she's how Malon would be like if she was the least bit interesting. I guess Cremia and Romani is how both versions of Malon was intended to be like if oot expanded her character. Guess if you split eye candy into two and give 'em personalities ain't such a bad thing after all. Or maybe I just dig the thought of a grown Malon shoving Link into her boobs.

The bosses are lacking, except Goht. All become VERY lacking if you wear Fierce deity. Honestly, I'm just glad they even give you the option to be broken.

It's very easy to get guilded sword and you get it kinda early. VERY welcomed!

Chateau romani, a.k.a. super milk, is the most broken drink the world! A must for pretty much any three day cycle! The only way it could possibly cooler would be if it actually was beer. Romani was named after the ranch, but I like to think it's the opposite. It's like every sip of the super milk is directly from Romani and Cremia's hearts. God, what have I said...

The bunny hood is so useful I can't even begin to describe it!

The dungeons are very well done, as per usual. If you start directly on the first day after playing the inverse song of time, you should be finished before the dawn of the third day. Just the right length.

It's revealed that zoras lay eggs and they evolve like frogs. No word on how these eggs are made hubbahubba but it's still an interesting touch. Though I wonder...how would Ruto and Link's babies look like if they could breed? Would they grow from eggs, too? I just out-creepy'd Ben drowned. No wonder why Ruto x Link isn't canon.

I've noticed something about this game and oot. They've gone to rather de ent lengths to make the places seem more "alive". A good example is in the gerudo pirate stronghold. In the hall where you encounter their leader, there's a pot of soup boiling next to what appear to be food supplies and such. In another corner of the room is a shelf with bottles, quite possibly perfume. Wind waker and Twilight princess both have similar things, but technology was more on their side. It's impressive for 3D games developed during the 90s, the decade when 3D graphics in video game consoles were almost completely new, to go to such lengths to put in tiny details like that. It's like they wanted to make their world seem practical and answer "How the hell do these people eat?". Still very few hints of how they're supposed to shit. Seriously, though, kudos to the developers. It's almost like you could actually live in most of these places. It wouldn't be impossible to model a house after Romani and Cremia's home, or a room after Tetra's.

The world map is smaller, but it's a bit more lively and all backgrounds are fully rendered in 3D. None of the 2D stuff from oot.

The music is friggin' great! A lot of good songs from oot return and its original songs are really good. Still can't decide if I prefer oot or MM's music. MORSHU LOL

This game has a special mood too it. It's like it's conveying a really special emotion most of the time. Really can't describe it, but I really like it.

There's a lot of small scenes here and there that doesn't lead to much but to expand the world and make the whole thing more alive. For example, Anju feeds her grandmother on the first day, but fails because she's senile. If you read her grandmother's diary, you learn that she's faking being senile to get away from her lousy cooking. This is by all means a waste of space, especially for a game released in 2000, but it's so cool that it doesn't matter.

You have all the essential items and they do their job. No gimmicky stuff, just the classics. Just how I prefer it.

The real question now is this still the second best Zelda game to be? To be honest, the 3DS version seems to fix a lot of stuff I dislike, and I have a feeling I'd consider it a lot better. As it stands now, though, Majora's mask lived up to my inner hype, but it's worse than I thought. It's frustrating and the controls aren't the greatest, but it still managed to be damn fun. For now, it's tied with Twilight princess. If I play the 3DS version, it will no doubt find its way to the #2 spot again. Unless they remake Twilight princess as well, then it's REALLY gonna be a close call!

All things considered, it still holds up. 7/10, recommended for its unique experience.





Thus, my little Zelda pilgrimage comes to an end. What an interesting set of journeys, eh? Enough 'o sentimental shit; next time it's back to dumbassness! Unless something of worth happens.
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